July 4, 2022

Why money kept holding me back

Why money kept holding me back …

“money the constant dream crusher” was my Facebook status in 2014.
When once again I was scrolling real estate websites, knowing I could never afford the homes I was looking at. 

I had tried every budgeting system you could think of, the cash envelopes, the profit first, the barefoot investor, the Dave Ramsey, the debt-free, the fuck it and ignore it … I had tried everything. But no matter what I tried, I kept ending back up in the same place, same house, same growing debt, the same fear, same anxiety. 

“money hates me.” 

It was a lie I was repeating to myself day after day. But part of me knew there had to be more. Part of me knew that I was getting close to something. 

I had an “aha!” moment, crying in my car, when my debit card got declined, again, trying to buy toilet paper. I thought to myself. Maybe I kept coming back to the same place over and over again because I wasn’t dealing with the real problem. I was using budgets like bandaids and trying to heal a bullet wound. 

What if I had to dig deep inside myself and actually find the problem, to fix it correctly? 

It was this profound moment of realising the difference between me crying in my car over not being able to afford toilet paper and the woman next to me driving a Porsche with her take-away latte … it might all be in my head … LITERALLY. 

Back then, there were a million books about money, investing, budgeting … But NONE about what I was interested in, which was healing and transforming the way I related to money. 
So, I opened my eyes. I went to the library. I found podcasts. I read as many books as I could get my hands on and many years later, I would go on to write the book that I wish had existed for me at the beginning of my journey. See that book here.

Money mindset book for woman
It wasn’t easy.It wasn’t simple. Sometimes I just went around and around in circles. 

But I got there, and like doing a puzzle, piece by piece, the entire picture started to form. 
But when I say, I know how you feel at the beginning of your journey, I mean it…. because I too was confused, lost, frustrated, didn’t know where to start, didn’t have anyone to ask, and didn’t know what to do! 

But I kept going because I was NOT going back to the way things were before. like my daughter’s favourite book says, “we can’t go over it, we can’t go under it, we have to go through it!” but sometimes we don’t know the first step to take.

Today, I’m going to give you that first step, and share the first five money mindset questions I EVER asked myself and how they changed my entire life. This is the first step, which will help kick start your entire journey. 

I sat down with a journal and pen and asked myself these questions …. If I didn’t want to make money for some reason, what would it be? What do I honestly think my financial situation is the way it is? What do I want to believe about money? What will my day-to-day life look like once I have healed and created a new reality around money for myself? If you could speak to money or write it a letter and tell it what you need to,  what would you say? 

These five questions changed everything for me. I still remember the silver notebook in which I wrote the answers and the tears that I cried while having this paradigm shift. 

Like two halves of orange, my life split into two acts. My life before these questions and my life after. Once I finally acknowledged the truth in my answers, I knew deep in my bones I would NEVER be the same again, and I would never view abundance, wealth, and money the same ever again.  
I hope these questions and how you answer them may be the beginning of this journey for you too.
If you don’t know where to start, and it feels overwhelming or big and scary. 

Just start here Start before you are ready Start before you are sure Just start. 

Here’s to better things to come, 

X Shona  

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